Tuesday, November 18, 2014


…by A.A. Milne

"I think I am a Muffin Man. I haven't got a bell, 
I haven't got the muffin things that muffin people sell. 

Perhaps I am a Postman. No, I think I am a Tram. 
I'm feeling rather funny and I don't know what I am — "

I think I am a squirrel. I haven’t got a nut
Perhaps I am a butcher with lots of meat to cut.

I have one and a half pigs lying on my kitchen table. Mostly chopped up by a real butcher. Errr, kidney, ears, heart, tongue? Freeze now, worry later. Wot, no snout?

No I think I am a chef.

Deboned a huge ham and minced up great slabs of slippery liver to made lovely garlicky country pate.

I think I am a sous chef, 
Working for the chef.

Put a couple of trotters and that big ham bone (from the pig with a limp) into the biggest stock pot I own and simmered overnight for broth.

Perhaps I am a vet who is visiting for a limp.

Deconstructed the pig’s knee joint as I was straining my stock. 
Aha, found a cluster of bone spurs - little bony growths that inhibit the smooth movement of the joint.
(I would not ordinarily have been so fascinated but I have just illustrated an arthritic knee for a cookery book.)
Froze pots and pots of stock and supped restorative broth for lunch.

No I think I am a seamstress.

Off to the Haberdashers to buy muslin to wrap up an arthritic ham for air drying. 

I’m feeling rather funny and I don’t know what I am!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.